South Park episode
"Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus"
Episode no.	47
Airdate	December 29, 1999
South Park - Season 3 April 1999 - January 2000
Rainforest Schmainforest Spontaneous Combustion The Succubus Tweek vs. Craig Jakovasaurs Sexual Harassment Panda Cat Orgy Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub Jewbilee Chinpokomon Starvin' Marvin in Space Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery Hooked on Monkey Phonics The Red Badge of Gayness Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus World Wide Recorder Concert
List of all South Park episodes

"Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus" is episode 316 of the Comedy Central series South Park. It originally aired on December 29, 1999 and featured the then-nearing end of the second millennium. South Park is an American animated television series created, written and voiced by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. ... Kenny at Cartmans meeting. ... December 29 is the 363rd day of the year (364th in leap years) in the Gregorian Calendar, with 2 days remaining. ... 1999 (MCMXCIX) was a common year starting on Friday, and was designated the International Year of Older Persons by the United Nations. ... For other uses, see April (disambiguation). ... 1999 (MCMXCIX) was a common year starting on Friday, and was designated the International Year of Older Persons by the United Nations. ... January is the first month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar and one of seven Gregorian months with the length of 31 days. ... This article is about the year 2000. ... Rainforest Schmainforest is an episode of the South Park television series. ... Spontaneous combustion can mean the self-ignition, or apparent self-ignition, and burning of any mass; often of highly flammable materials, such as a pile of oily rags; see combustion. ... The Succubus, also entitled Chefs Mama, is episode 303 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Tweek, Token, Stan, Kyle Cartman and Pip. ... Jakovasaurs is an episode of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Sexual Harassment Panda is episode 306 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Cat Orgy is episode 307 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub is part two of the meteor shower story arc and episode 308 of Comedy Centrals South Park. ... Jewbilee is the third and final part of the meteor shower story arc and episode 309 of Comedy Centrals South Park. ... Chinpokomon is episode 310 of the Comedy Central series, South Park. ... Starvin Marvin in Space is episode 311 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Korns Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery is episode 312 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Hooked on Monkey Phonics is episode 313 of the Comedy Central series, South Park. ... The Red Badge of Gayness is episode 314 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Both a South Park episode (# 315) and a CD, Mr. ... World Wide Recorder Concert, which is also sometimes titled The Brown Noise in videos and other sources, is episode 317 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... The Complete First Five Seasons DVD set released on February 22, 2005. ... Comedy Central is a cable television channel in the United States. ... South Park is an American animated television series created, written and voiced by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. ... December 29 is the 363rd day of the year (364th in leap years) in the Gregorian Calendar, with 2 days remaining. ... 1999 (MCMXCIX) was a common year starting on Friday, and was designated the International Year of Older Persons by the United Nations. ... (1st millennium – 2nd millennium – 3rd millennium – other millennia) Events The Black Death Mongol Empires in Asia The Renaissance in Europe The Protestant Reformation The agricultural and industrial revolutions The rise of nationalism and the nation state European discovery of the Americas and Australia and their colonization European colonization and decolonization...

Plot synopsis

As the year and millennium end, Cartman discovers that blood is coming out of his ass, leading him to believe he is experiencing his first period. He subsequently taunts the other boys for not not having hit puberty yet, unaware that his bleeding is in fact the result of a stomach infection that is sweeping the town. Kenny later contracts the same ailment, and Kyle, not wanting to be left out, pretends he is also afflicted. The boys consequently abandon Stan and refuse to play with him, claiming he is less mature for not having gotten his period. Eric Theodore Cartman, voiced by Trey Parker, is a fictional character in the animated series South Park. ... Human blood smear: a - erythrocytes; b - neutrophil; c - eosinophil; d - lymphocyte. ... Male Human Anatomy This article is about the bodily orifice. ... Menstrual cycle. ... Puberty refers to the process of physical changes by which a childs body becomes an adult body capable of reproduction. ... Kenneth Kenny McCormick, voiced by Matt Stone (and, on one occasion, Mike Judge), is a fictional character in the animated series South Park. ... Kyle Broflovski is a nine-year-old Jewish kid, voiced by Matt Stone, and is one of the four main fictional characters on the animated series South Park. ... Stanley Stan Marsh is a fictional character in United States television series South Park. ...

Meanwhile, the people of the town (indeed, the world) are flocking around Jesus' house, eager about the Millennium and saying that, after thousands of years of blind faith, Jesus's dad should make an appearance. Jesus contacts his father and explains about his potential resurgence in popularity, but God (who is not actually seen during this conversation) says he will not show up because mankind is not ready. Jesus, needing to come up with some way to satisfy people, books Rod Stewart to play a New Year's Eve concert in Las Vegas; everybody decides to go, but a rumor that God will show up persists, and Jesus is unable to contact his father to ask for help. There are many recurring characters in the animated series South Park, aside from the four main characters, Eric Theodore Cartman, Stanley Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenneth Kenny McCormick. ... Michelangelos depiction of God in the painting Creation of the Sun and Moon in the Sistine Chapel Krishna, the eighth incarnation of Vishnu, one of the manifestations of the ultimate reality or God in Hinduism This article discusses the term God in the context of monotheism and henotheism. ... Look up Mankind in Wiktionary, the free dictionary Mankind may refer to: Human beings and their society The morality play Mankind An alias of professional wrestler Mick Foley An MMORTS (massively multiplayer online real-time strategy); see Mankind (MMORTS) A French Demoscene group : m4nkind (web) Spelt thus: ManKind, it can... Roderick David Stewart (born January 10, 1945) is an English born singer and songwriter of Scottish descent, most known for his uniquely raspy, gravelly, hoarse-sounding voice and personable singing style, as exemplified in his signature song Maggie May. In a career now entering its fifth decade, Stewart has achieved... New Years Eve is a celebration held the day before New Years Day, on December 31, the final day of the Gregorian year. ... Nickname: The Entertainment Capital of the World Official website: http://www. ...

Stan, meanwhile, prays for his period, but does not receive it; he then visits Dr. Mephesto and gets a bottle of hormone pills. Stan continues to use them leading him to grow a beard, a deeper voice and a pair of breasts. He still does not bleed out of his ass, however. On New Year's, everybody is in Las Vegas for the concert, but the crowd gets enraged when they see Rod Stewart (who is portrayed in this episode as being old and incontinent). They turn against Jesus and get ready to crucify him again. At this point, Stan asks Jesus why God does not answer his prayers, and Jesus explains that if God does everything for you, then your existence really has no purpose, because you're not really doing anything. He realizes that this was God's message to him, that he (Jesus) had to figure out a way to get people to follow him without God's help. And just as he realizes this, God arrives. There are many recurring characters in the animated series South Park, aside from the four main characters, Eric Theodore Cartman, Stanley Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenneth Kenny McCormick. ... A hormone (from Greek horman - to set in motion) is a chemical messenger from one cell (or group of cells) to another. ... Wiktionary has related dictionary definitions, such as: breasts, WikiSaurus:breasts The term breast, also known by the Latin mamma in anatomy, refers to the upper ventral region of an animals torso, particularly that of mammals, including human beings. ... The word incontinence has several distinct meanings: urinary incontinence is the inability to control urination fecal incontinence is the inability to control defecation the word incontinence can also be used to mean a lack of self-control governing morality. ... Crucifixion is an ancient method of execution, where the victim was tied or nailed to a large wooden cross and left to hang there until dead. ...

After the initial shock over God's appearance (as a small hippolike creature), he offers the people the chance to ask one question. The crowd plans to ask the meaning of life or existence, but before anyone can ask, Stan comes up and asks why he hasn't gotten his period. God (perhaps taken aback a bit) explains that boys don't get periods, and that his friends are sick and that Kyle was lying. He then returns to Heaven, saying he will answer another question in another two thousand years. Stan is satisfied and joyfully starts singing "Auld Lang Syne." The crowd stares in disbelief and anger, and they turn on Stan just before the credits roll. The philosophical question What is the meaning of life? means different things to different people. ... There is no universally accepted theory of what the word existence means. ... Michelangelos interpretation of Heaven Heaven is an afterlife concept found in many religions or spiritual philosophies. ... Auld Lang Syne — Eng: “old long since” — might be better translated as “old long ago”, “times gone by”, or “days gone by” is a poem by Robert Burns, and one of the best known songs in English-speaking countries. ...

Kenny's Death

Believing that he has his period because his ass is bleeding, Kenny starts using tampons; and because he keeps the tampon in his ass for several days, he eventually bursts from inside out.

Trivia

• The title of this episode is a reference to the 1970 book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume.
• Due to the quick production of this episode (creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone wanted to be able to celebrate New Year's with their families), several elements from previous episodes are recycled in this installment, including:
  • Jesus's photo of himself and Santa singing their Christmas debut concert together.
  • The X-ray image from the opening number of the previous episode, "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" (shown in this episode on the evening news).
  • The brief television footage of Jakov, a character from episode 305 (Jakovasaurs).
• The melody which plays while Jesus and Stan discuss the nature of prayer is the tune to the song "Onward, Christian Soldiers", which was parodied in the 1997 Parker/Stone film Orgazmo.
• When the citizens of South Park are waiting to see if Jesus will come out of his house and whether or not he will be scared of his shadow, is a parody of Groundhog Day, in which if a Groundhog comes out of his hole and is scared of his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. Of course in this case, if Jesus isn't scared of his shadow, the next 1,000 years will be filled with peace and love.
• This is the first episode to have Stan flashing his rear-end when he went to check if he had his period.

Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to:

Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus

1970 (MCMLXX) was a common year starting on Thursday (the link is to a full 1970 calendar). ... Wiktionary has related dictionary definitions, such as: book A book is a collection of sheets of paper, parchment or other material, bound together along one edge within covers. ... 1970 paperback edition Are You There, God? Its Me, Margaret by Judy Blume, typically categorized as a novel for young adults, is about a preteen girl who grew up with no religion. ... Judy Blume (born February 12, 1938) is an American author. ... A common portrayal of Santa Claus. ... In the NATO phonetic alphabet, X-ray represents the letter X. An X-ray picture (radiograph) taken by Röntgen An X-ray is a form of electromagnetic radiation with a wavelength approximately in the range of 5 pm to 10 nanometers (corresponding to frequencies in the range 30 PHz... Both a South Park episode (# 315) and a CD, Mr. ... Jakovasaurs is an episode of the Comedy Central series South Park. ... Orgazmo DVD cover Orgazmo is a 1997 movie by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of the animated series South Park. ... Groundhog Day 2005 in Punxsutawney. ... Image File history File links Wikiquote-logo-en. ... Wikiquote logo Wikiquote is a sister project of Wikipedia, using the same MediaWiki software. ...

Both a South Park episode (# 315) and a CD, Mr. ... The Complete First Five Seasons DVD set released on February 22, 2005. ... World Wide Recorder Concert, which is also sometimes titled The Brown Noise in videos and other sources, is episode 317 of the Comedy Central series South Park. ...