“Barely Legal”
Family Guy episode
Episode no.	Season 5 Episode 8
Written by	Kirker Butler
Directed by	Zac Moncrief
Guest stars	Drew Barrymore Garrett Morris
Production no.	5ACX03
Original airdate	December 17, 2006
Season 5 episodes
Family Guy - Season 5 September 10, 2006 – May 20, 2007
Stewie Loves Lois Mother Tucker Hell Comes to Quahog Saving Private Brian Whistle While Your Wife Works Prick Up Your Ears Chick Cancer Barely Legal Road to Rupert Peter's Two Dads The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou Airport '07 Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey No Meals on Wheels Boys Do Cry No Chris Left Behind It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One Meet the Quagmires
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List of Family Guy episodes

“Barely Legal” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. 8.81 million people watched this episode when it first aired on FOX. Image File history File links BarelylegalFG.jpg‎ © Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment LLC. All Rights Reserved. ... Drew Blyth Barrymore (born February 22, 1975) is an American actress and film producer, the youngest member of the Barrymore family of American actors. ... Garrett Morris (born February 1, 1937) is an American comedian and actor from New Orleans, Louisiana. ... December 17 is the 351st day of the year (352nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 253rd day of the year (254th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 140th day of the year (141st in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) is the current year, a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar and the AD/CE era in the 21st century. ... “Stewie Loves Lois” is the first episode of season 5 of Family Guy. ... “Mother Tucker” is the second episode of season five of Family Guy. ... “Hell Comes to Quahog” is the third episode, of season five, of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Saving Private Brian” is the fourth episode of season five of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Whistle While Your Wife Works” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Prick Up Your Ears” is a season five episode of the animated television series Family Guy. ... “Chick Cancer” is the seventh episode of season five of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Road to Rupert” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Peter’s Two Dads” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou” is the eleventh episode of season five of the FOX animated television series Family Guy and ninety-first episode overall. ... “Bill and Peter’s Bogus Journey” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “No Meals on Wheels” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Boys Do Cry” is the fifteenth episode of the fifth season of the Fox animated television series Family Guy. ... “No Chris Left Behind” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One” is a season five episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... “Meet the Quagmires” is the eighteenth and final episode of the fifth season of the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... North by North Quahog is the first episode of Season 4 of Family Guy. ... Blue Harvest is the season premiere of the sixth season of the FOX series Family Guy, which originally aired on September 23, 2007. ... The following is an episode list for the FOX animated television series Family Guy. ... This article is about the animal. ... An animated series or cartoon series is a television series produced by means of animation. ... Family Guy is an Emmy Award-winning American animated television series about a dysfunctional family in the fictional town of Quahog, Rhode Island. ... This article is about the animal. ...

Plot summary

After Mayor Adam West deploys the entire Quahog police department to Cartagena, Colombia to search for a character from Romancing the Stone, Joe becomes bogged down at work, being the only officer not sent to Colombia (he was not sent because South America is “not wheelchair accessible”). Because of this, Peter and the guys decide to become police officers to help Joe. To meet Wikipedias quality standards, this article or section may require cleanup. ... For other places with the same name, see Cartagena (disambiguation). ... Romancing the Stone is an American 1984 action-adventure film. ... Lieutenant Joseph Joe Swanson is a fictional character in the Fox animated television show Family Guy. ... South America South America is a continent crossed by the equator, with most of its area in the Southern Hemisphere. ... Peter Löwenbräu Griffin is the protagonist in the American animated television series Family Guy. ...

Meanwhile, Meg comes home from school threatening to commit suicide because she does not have a date for her Junior Prom (the last boy she asked shot his brother as an excuse). She then claims that it's because she's "so fat and gross" (exaggerating her chubbiness) and gets a knife. As a last resort, Brian agrees to take her. Brian hides his unhappiness in attending by getting drunk, but near the end of the night in the course of defending Meg, he manages to bring Connie D’Amico down a level by stating that Connie picks on Meg because Connie herself is so insecure that she whores herself out and makes fun of girls who aren't as pretty as her to avoid the inevitable fate that by the time Connie is 19, she'll be, to quote Brian, "a chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepfather won't want". After Connie runs away crying, Brian and Meg make out with each other. Megan Meg Griffin is a cartoon character on the TV show Family Guy by Seth MacFarlane. ... For other uses, see Suicide (disambiguation). ... Brian Griffin is a fictional character on the FOX animated television series Family Guy, and is voiced by show creator, Seth MacFarlane. ...

After the dance, Meg begins to consider Brian her boyfriend, but Brian tells her he has no intentions to date her. Because of this, Meg becomes obsessed with Brian and begins to make bizarre advances at him (such as making an apple pie with her hair baked inside). Feeling that he’s losing control of the situation, Brian tells Lois about Meg and how she loves him because he made out with her at the prom. As expected, Lois is furious and orders Brian to set things right, though she does not believe what Brian says about Meg is true. Even after Brian tells Meg that he will never be attracted to her, she knocks him out with a bag of Dog Chow, ties him up, puts him in his car trunk and drives away. Dog Chow is a name brand of dog food marketed and manufactured by the Ralston Purina Company subsidiary of Nestlé. The brand is offered world wide as dry kibbles, in numerous formulas including one for young dogs, called Puppy Chow, one for elderly dogs, called Senior 7+, and a weight...

The next morning, Peter, Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire are spying on Bonnie stripping. Chris reveals to Lois, who is worried sick about the two, he saw Meg kidnap Brian the other night (he didn't say anything earlier because he was buried in paperwork for the last 72 hours). Horrified, Lois realizes Brian was telling the truth about Meg's condition and asks Peter and the others to find them. This article is about the Family Guy character. ... Glenn Quagmire (sometimes spelled Glen) is a character on the animated series Family Guy, best known for his sexual deviancy. ... Bonnie Swanson is a fictional character from the animated television series Family Guy. ... Christopher Cross Chris Griffin (born 1993, in Quahog, Rhode Island) is the second child of Peter and Lois Griffin in the TV cartoon series Family Guy. ...

Meg holds Brian hostage in a nearby hotel and attempts to have sex with him, but is stopped by Peter and the others. Lois tries in vain to convince Meg to let Brian go until Quagmire then offers his services to straighten Meg out. Meg comes to his house and, instead of sleeping with her as initially implied, he has a heart-to-heart talk with her, explaining that she doesn’t need to have a boyfriend to have fun as a teenager and gives her a book, Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece, to guide her. Sheldon Alan Shel Silverstein (September 25, 1930 – May 10, 1999) was an American poet, songwriter, musician, composer, cartoonist, screenwriter and author of childrens books. ...

Censorship in Fox versus Adultswim/DVD versions

The following scenes have been cut and/or altered when shown on FOX, but restored on Adult Swim/DVD:

• When Stewie presents Brian his “polished turd for the evening” (Meg in a nice dress), Stewie says in the FOX version, “FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and length,” before it cuts to the outside shot of the school. On Adult Swim and DVD Stewie’s line was, “FYI, the carpet matches the drapes, in color and quantity,” and adds, “You ever see a blacksmith’s apron?” before the scene cuts to the outside of the school.
• After the scene of Peter giving Quagmire a cavity search, there is an extra scene shown on Adult Swim and DVD where Peter, Quagmire, Mort, and Cleveland are in a room, each drinking from a cup. Joe (on the other side of the room, separated by acrylic glass), explains that the four are part of a test to see if they can identify traces of Phencyclidine in the coffee they’re drinking. This causes Peter, Cleveland, and Mort to become paranoid over who drank the PCP and accuse each other of freaking out, but the real culprit turns out to be Quagmire when he wonders why his arm has so much skin on it and rips it off without feeling any pain.
• In the scene where Brian tries to bail out of spending the day with Meg, he says he’s going to do whatever Chris does on a Thursday afternoon, which is masturbate. Brian’s line after Chris says “masturbate” in the Adult Swim and DVD version is “Masturbate. We’re going to masturbate together.” The FOX version only has one mention of the word “masturbate” and changes Brian’s line to “Yeah, that’s it. That’s what we’re going to do together,” to edit out the extra mentions of the word.
• When Brian drunkenly stands up to Connie D’Amico for making fun of Meg, he states that the reason Connie is so insecure is because she developed early and in the FOX version, “...started putting out when you were 12.” On Adult Swim and DVD Brian states that Connie developed early and started “giving handjobs when you were 12.”
• When Brian tries to explain to Lois why Meg is acting weird around him (and ends up getting punched by Lois), Brian says in the FOX version that Meg made him eat “the hair in her pie” (referring to the pie that Meg put her hair in so Brian will have a piece of her inside him). The Adult Swim and DVD version uses the more vulgar expression “hair pie” (slang for vagina), which implies that Brian had oral sex with Meg (the FOX edit implies this, too, but it’s less explicit).
• On the Adult Swim and DVD when Peter and his buddies catch Meg seducing the captured Brian, Peter tells Brian that what he’s doing to Meg is worse than what Mia Farrow did to that Chinaman Woody Allen brought home from the circus (which Lois promises to explain to him all the things that were wrong with that statement). On FOX, the term “Oriental guy” was used instead of the racial slur "Chinaman".

Perspex redirects here. ... “Angel Dust” redirects here. ... The vagina, (from Latin, literally sheath or scabbard ) is the tubular tract leading from the uterus to the exterior of the body in female placental mammals and marsupials, or to the cloaca in female birds, monotremes, and some reptiles. ... Mia Farrow (born Maria de Lourdes Villiers-Farrow on February 9, 1945) is an American actress. ... Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Königsberg on December 1, 1935) is a three-time Academy Award-winning American film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian, and playwright. ...

Cultural references

This article or section contains too many minor or trivial fictional references. Mere trivia, or references unimportant to the overall plot of a work of fiction, should be deleted. See also what Wikipedia is.

• Meg is the fourth family member that Brian has kissed. The first was Peter (“Brian: Portrait of a Dog”) (albeit on the cheek), the second was Stewie (“Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?”, “Deep Throats” and “Saving Private Brian”) and the third was Lois (“The Perfect Castaway”) (again, on the cheek).
• Peter names the giraffe he steals from the zoo Allison Janney, a reference to the actress' long neck.
• A scene in which the townsfolk (after they remove their white disguises and are revealed to be black) sing spoofs the "Everybody Rejoice/A Brand New Day" sequence in the film The Wiz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West’s slaves (grotesque, leather-skinned creatures) shed their skin to reveal attractive young black people underneath.
• The two songs being played during the dance scene are “Hold on to the Nights” by Richard Marx and “Why” by Annie Lennox.

Meg and Brian slow-dancing

• The episode contains many references to the Police Academy series of films. For example, the music playing when Peter and the gang arrive at the Quahog Police Academy is the theme song from the series. Also, Peter mentions that “it is our first day at Police Academy 4,” in which ordinary civilians are trained as police officers. Quagmire specifically also wears a T-shirt that says “ONE IN THE OVEN” as worn by Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg). Finally, during the scene when Lois, Peter and the police raid Meg’s hotel room (where Brian is tied up), Cleveland yells "Don’t move, dirtbag!", a line that was said by Sgt. Hooks from Police Academy. This also used on occasion (with variations, such as "Freeze Dirtbag,") by Joe.
• Most of Meg’s scenes (where she obsesses over Brian) are reminiscent to Glenn Close’s scenes in the movie Fatal Attraction.
• Garrett Morris cameoed as the “headmaster of the New York School for the Hard-of-Hearing,” a part that he played while a cast member on Saturday Night Live during Weekend Update (particularly during the first season, when Chevy Chase was Weekend Update anchor). At the end, he says “Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow,” which was the closing line during Chevy Chase’s tenure on Weekend Update.
• The scene in which Brian is kidnapped and tied up by Meg is a parody of The King of Comedy.