Dale Fort is a battery site to the north of Milford Haven, Wales. Occupied from Elizabethan times to the present day, the main buildings date from the 1850's, but the most unusual feature is its use for trials of Zalinski's Pneumatic Dynamite Gun in the 1890s. It is now a field study centre. Milford Haven (Welsh: Aberdaugleddau meaning Mouth of the Two Cleddaus) is a town in Pembrokeshire, Wales. ... For an explanation of often confusing terms such as Great Britain, Britain, United Kingdom, England and Wales and England, see British Isles (terminology). ... A dynamite gun is any of a class of artillery pieces distinguished by their specialized operating mechanism and purpose: they use compressed air to propel an explosive projectile. ...

Dale Fort is the last piece of land between itself and America. The fort is close to the windiest point in Wales (south west breeze).

Endemic Madness

Dale fort has an infamous reputation for madness, expressed mainly by the people who have lived and worked there over the years; particularly during its current guise as a field studies centre.

Many theories have been developed over the years to explain this occurrence, however it is thought that a combination of relative isolation, gloomy architecture, a thriving rat population and years living away from civilization trapped behind the stone walls of the Napoleonic artillery buildings may contribute to the significant levels of psychological disturbance and general 'crankiness' shown by these people.

There is currently a 'League of Madness' table in operation at the fort. This is based on a points system, with awards for madness being based on the quantity and intensity of insane outbursts, such as seagull noises, crab impressions and gibbering. Extra points are also awarded for situations where students or staff visiting the centre are reduced to a state of fear or panic, often wanting to "Get well away from this scary place with its lunatic staff" (-expletives deleted-). Such visitors should realize that, despite this, they have little to fear; none of the staff at Dale Fort are at all dangerous in the way they express their insanity. Provided they have remembered to take their medication, that is.

The current standings in the Dale Fort League of Madness run thus:

1. John Archer-Thompson, tutor - working at the centre for 22 years, it had to happen sometime; unfortunately it is believed that he was probably like this from the start.

2. Phil Wensley, tutor- the decline started with an unhealthy interest in marine worms, this was followed by a period spent alone during an entire winter at the fort, at which point it is thought he had reached the point of no return. Now Phil regularly walks around imitating jelly fish and going "Baa" at random moments.

3. Alan Jones, placement - the highest new climber in the madness stakes, Alan has only been at the Fort for 2 months (as of Oct 2004), yet he is already starting to show signs of strain. Or more worryingly, there is a possibility that he was like this well before he arrived. Particular gems in the gamut of Alan's madness include going "Byyyyyye" and waving, like a person with special needs, when student groups leave the fort, and turning pairs of wellies into seagulls (with sound effects).

4. Steve Morell, tutor - possibly the most cranky of the members of staff at the fort, Steve's brand of madness is perhaps a little more subtle than most. Catch him off guard though and he is undeniably barking.

External links

• Dale Fort Field Study Centre
• Zalinski Dynamite Gun
• Grid reference SM823052