Hordes of the Things is a BBC radio comedy series parodying J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, and the fantasy genre in general, in a style similar to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was written by "A. P. R. Marshall and J. H. W. Lloyd" (Andrew Marshall and John Lloyd) and produced by Geoffrey Perkins. Hordes of the Things is also the name of a fantasy miniatures game related to De Bellis Antiquitatis. The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) was formed in 1927 by means of a royal charter. ... J. R. R. Tolkien John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (January 3, 1892 – September 2, 1973) was the author of The Hobbit and its sequel The Lord of the Rings. ... Wikicities has a wiki about The Lord of the Rings: The Lord of the Rings Wiki The Encyclopedia of Arda - Mark Fishers tribute site to the works of Tolkien Tolkien Gateway Tolkien Collectors Gateway The Tolkien Wiki Community TheOneRing. ... Look up Fantasy in Wiktionary, the free dictionary For other definitions of fantasy, see fantasy (psychology). ... ... Andrew Marshall is a British comedy writer, most noted for the domestic sitcom 2point4 children. ... John Lloyd (born 1951 in Dover, England) is a British comedy writer and producer. ... Geoffrey Perkins has been a central figure in British comedy broadcasting. ... Look up Fantasy in Wiktionary, the free dictionary For other definitions of fantasy, see fantasy (psychology). ... Miniatures games are a form of wargame in which a battle is played out using small figures to represent the units involved. ... De Bellis Antiquitatis or DBA is a fast play set of rules for the hobby of historical miniature wargaming, particularly medieval and ancient wargaming in the period 3000 BC to 1485 AD. These rules allow entire armies to be represented by less than 50 figures. ...

The series consists of four half-hour episodes or "Chronicles", originally broadcast on BBC Radio 4 from November 25 to December 16, 1980. This was the only uncut broadcast; all subsequent repeats have omitted part of the opening narration from The First Chronicle. BBC Radio 4 is a British domestic radio station which broadcasts a wide variety of chiefly spoken-word programmes including news, drama, comedy, science and history. ... November 25 is the 329th (in leap years the 330th) day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. ... December 16 is the 350th day of the year (351st in leap years) in the Gregorian Calendar. ... 1980 is a leap year starting on Tuesday. ...

The cast includes Patrick Magee as the Chronicler, Simon Callow as the Crown Prince Veganin (named after an analgesic), Frank Middlemass as the wizard Radox the Green (named after a brand of green bath salts), Paul Eddington as the misnamed King Yulfric the Wise III (a virtual reprise of his role as Jim Hacker from Yes, Minister), Maggie Steed as Queen Elfreda, Christian Rodska as the hero Agar son of Athar, and Jonathan Lynn as the dwarf Golin Longshanks. The Brighton hotel bombing was the bombing by the Provisional IRA of the Grand Hotel in Brighton in the early morning of October 12, 1984. ... Simon Philip Hugh Callow (born June 13, 1949) is a highly-regarded British actor of stage, film and television, and the biographer of Orson Welles and Charles Laughton. ... Albus Dumbledore, from the Harry Potter series, is a traditional wizard. ... Nigel Hawthorne, Paul Eddington and Derek Fowlds in Yes, Prime Minister. ... Yes, (Prime) Minister: Sir Humphrey Appleby, James Jim Hacker, Bernard Woolley Yes, Minister and its sequel Yes, Prime Minister were British sitcoms transmitted by the BBC between 1980 and 1988 set in the private office of a government Minister. ... Christian Rodska is a versatile British actor who has appeared in many television and radio series and narrated a number of audiobooks. ... Jonathan Lynn (born April 3, 1943), is a British actor and comedy writer. ... In Norse mythology, fairy tales, and sword and sorcery fiction and role-playing games, a dwarf is a sprite, a member of a humanoid race, much like humans, but generally living underground or in mountainous areas. ...

The series was launched with a good deal of hype. A full-page feature in Radio Times included a map of Albion and a spoof interview with Marshall and Lloyd. Despite this, the series was repeated only once, never released on cassette or CD, and largely forgotten until BBC 7 dusted off the (still abridged) tapes for a rerun in May 2003 and again in December. Radio Times is the BBCs weekly television and radio programme listings magazine. ... BBC 7 is a digital radio station broadcasting comedy, drama, and childrens programming 24 hours a day. ... Rerun van Pelt is the name of Linus and Lucys younger brother in the comic strip Peanuts. ... 2003 : January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December - → A timeline of events in the news for May, 2003. ... 2003: January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December - → A timeline of events in the news for December, 2003. ...

Only six months after Hordes of the Things was first aired, the first episode of the BBC's epic radio production of The Lord of the Rings began its 26-week run. Some of the voices in Hordes sound suspiciously similar to the equivalent characters in LOTR. Perhaps the producers of Hordes had heard about the casting for the forthcoming Tolkien adaptation and chose their own cast accordingly. In 1981 BBC Radio 4 broadcast a dramatisation of J. R. R. Tolkiens The Lord of the Rings in 26 half-hour stereo instalments. ... Wikicities has a wiki about The Lord of the Rings: The Lord of the Rings Wiki The Encyclopedia of Arda - Mark Fishers tribute site to the works of Tolkien Tolkien Gateway Tolkien Collectors Gateway The Tolkien Wiki Community TheOneRing. ...

The plot such as it is concerns the threat to the small kingdom of Albion by The Evil One (a Dark Lord) and her ravening hordes, which have completely surrounded the country and are preparing to move in. Dark Lord (also known as an Evil Overlord) is a name often used in fiction to talk about a powerful villain with evil henchmen, especially when pronouncing the real name is thought to bring bad luck. ...

Prince Veganin has raised a mighty army to defend Albion, only to see them all call in sick; his father King Yulfric thinks he is exaggerating the danger, and suggests that allowances should be made for foreign customs (like human sacrifice). In any case, Yulfric is too busy changing clothes with a commoner to have any time for affairs of state - the commoner in question being the woodcutter's daughter.

The great wizard Radox recruits the young hero Agar to find the mighty horn Summontrumpet which can call forth the six heroes of legend. To Agar's chagrin, Radox sends him a companion in the shape of the gluttonous dwarf Golin Longshanks, who is under the delusion that Radox's programme of height exercises has turned him into a giant. Giants are humanoid creatures of prodigious size and strength, a type of legendary monster that appear in the tales of many different races and cultures. ...

Radox himself attends the Great Conference of All Wizards, but most of the wizards are too busy with the food and entertainment to bother with the heavy stuff about destroying evil.

Meanwhile Veganin has set off on his own quest to slay the leaders of the evil hordes, beginning with the High Bishop of Zylbor, whose priests baptise people by holding their heads under water until they stop struggling. What Veganin doesn't realise, until it is seemingly too late, is that the Bishop's gaze will turn anything it falls upon to ashes.

Agar and Golin finally wrest Summontrumpet from the clutches of the Dread Sphynx, which has the body of a snake, the head of a snake, and the feet of a snake, and arrive upon the plains of Albion as the Seven Armies of Hell begin their invasion. The only thing that could possibly go wrong would be if the wrong person should sound the horn by mistake.... The Great Sphinx of Giza, with the Pyramid of Khafre in the background. ... Superfamilies and Families Henophidia Aniliidae Anomochilidae Boidae Bolyeriidae Cylindrophiidae Loxocemidae Pythonidae Tropidophiidae Uropeltidae Xenopeltidae Typhlopoidea Anomalepididae Leptotyphlopidae Typhlopidae Xenophidia Acrochordidae Atractaspididae Colubridae Elapidae Hydrophiidae Viperidae Snakes are cold blooded legless reptiles closely related to lizards, which share the order Squamata. ...

Hordes of the Things (HOTT)

Hordes of the Things (HOTT) is also the name of a popular fantasy miniature wargame, from the DBx series of rulesets. It is published by Wargames Research Group. Miniature wargaming is a form of wargaming designed to incorporate miniatures or figurines into play. ...

HOTT is a generic fantasy game, and can represent armies from a wide variety of settings. Some gamers even use HOTT to game other periods, since, for example, a "Shooter" can just as easily be a company of musketeers as it can a company of archers. A musket is a muzzle-loaded, smooth-bore long gun. ... Archer may refer to: Someone taking part in archery. ...

HOTT follows the same basic game play of De Bellis Antiquitatis, with the addition of a magic phase. De Bellis Antiquitatis or DBA is a fast play set of rules for the hobby of historical miniature wargaming, particularly medieval and ancient wargaming in the period 3000 BC to 1485 AD. These rules allow entire armies to be represented by less than 50 figures. ...

A HOTT army is made up of 24 "points" worth of troop stands, drawn from the following list. Note that each type of troops has a different cost in points.

• Aerial Heros - Heroes who can fly, or have a flying mount
• Airboats - Large flying platforms, like zeppelins
• Artillery - Powerful, long ranged missile weapons
• Beasts - Savage creatures, like wolves
• Behemoths - Elephants, Giants, Dinosaurs, etc.
• Blades - Well equipped foot soldiers, like the Roman legion
• Clerics - Religious leaders who perform an anti-Magician role
• Dragons - Large, super-intelligent flying creatures
• Fliers - Giant Eagles or other dangerous flying creatures
• Gods - Powerful supernatural entities, like Zeus
• Heroes - Mighty warriors of renown
• Hordes - Endless seas of poorly trained and equipped fighters.
• Knights - Armored horsemen who charge (warfare) ferociously into melee
• Lurkers - Creatures that hide in dark places
• Magicians - Spell casters, sorcerors and conjurers
• Paladins - Warriors of Great Virtue
• Riders - Mounted soldiers who fight with missile weapons in preference to melee
• Shooters - Soldiers who fight with missile weapons, such as Archers and Javelin men
• Sneakers - Ninjas and other sneaky assassin types
• Spears - Well ordered soldiers fighting in phalanx
• Warband - Ferocious soldiers who lack discipline but not bravery

LZ127 Graf Zeppelin, the most traveled airship in history A Zeppelin is a type of rigid airship (or dirigible) pioneered by Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin in the early 20th century. ... Historically, artillery refers to any engine used for the discharge of projectiles during war. ... A missile (British English: miss-isle; U.S. English: missl) is, in general, a projectile—that is, something thrown or otherwise propelled. ... Binomial name Canis lupus Linnaeus, 1758 The Wolf or Grey Wolf (Canis lupus) is a mammal of the Canidae family and the ancestor of the domestic dog. ... Behemoth and Leviathan, an engraving by William Blake Behemoth (Hebrew בהמות Bəhēmôth, Behemot, Bhemot Beasts; animals; Arabic بهيموث Bahīmūth or بهموت Bahamūt) is the untranslated name of an amphibious animal mentioned in the Book of Job, 40:15-24. ... Genera and Species Loxodonta Loxodonta cyclotis Loxodonta africana Elephas Elephas maximus Stegodon (extinct) Deinotherium (extinct) Mammuthus (extinct) Elephantidae (the elephants) is the only extant family in the order Proboscidea. ... For other meanings of the word giant, see Giant (disambiguation) Giants are humanoid creatures of prodigious size and strength, a type of legendary monster that appear in the tales of many different races and cultures. ... Orders Saurischia    Sauropodomorpha    Theropoda Ornithischia Dinosaurs are animals that dominated the terrestrial ecosystem for over 100-million years. ... The Roman legion (from the Latin legio, meaning levy) was the basic military unit of ancient Rome. ... A cleric is: A member of the clergy of a religion, especially one that has trained or ordained priests, preachers, or other religious professionals; or A member of a character class in Dungeons & Dragons and similar fantasy role-playing games. ... Look up Dragon in Wiktionary, the free dictionary Typically depicted as a large and powerful reptile or serpent with magical or spiritual qualities, the dragon is one of few, if not the only mythological creature to be known around the globe. ... Genera Aquila Haliaeetus Pithecophaga Circaetus (*) Scientists argue whether Accipitriformes are a separate order, or belong to the Falconiformes. ... Statue of Zeus The Greek sculptor Phidias created the 12-m (40-ft) tall Statue of Zeus in about 435 bc. ... A charge is a maneuver in battle in which soldiers rush towards their enemy to engage in close combat. ... For other meanings of the term, see melée (disambiguation). ... A sorcerer or sorceress (Old French sorcier, fem. ... A conjurer (or conjuror) is a person that performs rituals or acts of conjuration. ... nerf paladins ... For other meanings of the term, see melée (disambiguation). ... A missile (British English: miss-isle; U.S. English: missl) is, in general, a projectile—that is, something thrown or otherwise propelled. ... Archer may refer to: Someone taking part in archery. ... Javelin can refer to several things: For the spear-like object, see Javelin throw. ... Ninja or Shinobi (literally, One who is concealed, or one that endures) were sometimes assassins and agents of espionage. ... Jack Ruby murdered the assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald, in a very public manner. ... Phalanx (Greek word from phalangos, meaning line of battle) can refer to: phalanx formation in ancient warfare. ... Discipline is any training intended to produce a specific character or pattern of behaviour, especially training that produces moral or mental development in a particular direction. ... Courage is the ability to confront fear in the face of pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation. ...

External links

• BBC 7 Hordes of the Things webpage (http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/comedy/progpages/hordes.shtml)
• Stronghold HOTT resource page (http://www.btinternet.com/~alan.catherine/wargames/strong.htm)