NationMaster - Encyclopedia: Man Laws

Man Laws (Men of the Square Table) are a series of beer commercials for Miller Lite, inspired by the unwritten codes by which men live. In the commercials, the panel discusses a given issue until it decides upon a "Man Law". The "Men of the Square Table" are a parody of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table. The "Square Table" they congregate around is located in what appears to be a secret, Dr. Strangelove-esque room with glass (probably soundproof) walls. The advertising campaign was a response to negative feedback about prior sexist advertising.^[1] The campaign also included a website (http://www.manlaws.com) as well as print advertising.^[2] For other uses, see Beer (disambiguation). ... The examples and perspective in this article or section may not represent a worldwide view. ... Miller Lite is a popular pilsner-style beer sold by Miller Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States with a 4. ... For other uses, see King Arthur (disambiguation). ... For the film, see Knights of the Round Table (film). ... For the hit 1987 single by Depeche Mode, see the album Music for the Masses Film poster for Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is a 1964 satirical film directed by Stanley Kubrick. ... The sign of the headquarters of the National Association Opposed To Woman Suffrage Sexism is commonly considered to be discrimination and/or hatred towards people based on their sex rather than their individual merits, but can also refer to any and all systemic differentiations based on the sex of the...

Members of the Square Table

In the commercials, it is their job to adjudge what is manly and what is not manly in common male situations. The panel is composed of important, macho, and famous men. Among the topics discussed are the proper etiquette for courting a friend's ex-girlfriend, and deciding who rightfully owns Miller Lite brought to parties. Every male in America, at the age of 13, receives a man law book in the mail. The Members of the Square Table are as follows:

Character

Real Name

Mr. Binnie

Brian Binnie, pilot/astronaut who flew Spaceship One when it won the X Prize

Mr. Bus

Jerome Bettis, former Pro Bowl NFL running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers; Super Bowl winner

Mr. de la Hoya

Oscar de la Hoya, professional boxer

Mr. Flynn

Jackie Flynn, actor/comedian

Mr. Gesner

Zen Gesner, actor

Mr. Griffin

Eddie Griffin, actor/comedian

Mr. H

Triple H, actor/WWE professional wrestler

Mr. Hart

Carey Hart, actor/professional motocrosser

Mr. Johnson

Jimmy Johnson, former college football and NFL coach

Mr. Kelly

Jim Kelly, Hall of Fame Pro Bowl quarterback formerly of the Buffalo Bills (NFL) and the Houston Gamblers (USFL).

Mr. Markbreit

Jerry Markbreit, former NFL referee

Mr. Murray

Ty Murray, 7-time All-Around World Rodeo Champion

Mr. Ralston

Aron Ralston, A Carnegie Mellon graduate and mountaineer who cut off his own lower arm with a pocket knife when a boulder fell on it while canyoneering

Mr. Renteria

Paul Renteria, actor/musician

Mr. Reynolds

Burt Reynolds, actor (the Table's apparent "leader")

The Scribe

Johnny Holiday, actor

Mr. Blu

Rodney Blu, actor/musician

SpaceShipOne test pilot Brian Binnie Brian Binnie is one of the test pilots for SpaceShipOne, the experimental spaceplane developed by Scaled Composites. ... SpaceShipOne is small, having a three-person cabin and short but wide wings. ... The X prize logo shows a stylised letter X representing a spacecraft trajectory and containing a starfield. ... Jerome Abram Bettis, nicknamed The Bus (born February 16, 1972), is a former American football halfback for the NFLs Los Angeles/St. ... In professional American football, the Pro Bowl is the all-star game of the National Football League (NFL). ... NFL logo For other uses of the abbreviation NFL, see NFL (disambiguation). ... Steelers redirects here. ... Oscar De La Hoya (pronounced [1]) (born February 4, 1973) â€” nicknamed the Golden Boy â€” is a Mexican American boxer who won a gold medal for the United States Boxing Team at the Barcelona Olympic Games. ... Zen Gesner as Sinbad. ... Eddie Griffin (July 15, 1968) is an American comedian and television/film actor. ... Paul Michael Levesque[4] (born July 27, 1969)[4] is an American professional wrestler, better known by the ring name Triple H, an abbreviation of his former Hunter Hearst Helmsley moniker. ... World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. ... Carey Jason-Phillip Hart (born on July 17, 1975 in Seal Beach, California and grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada) is an American motorcycle rider. ... For other uses, see Jimmy Johnson. ... For other persons named Jim Kelly, see Jim Kelly (disambiguation). ... In professional American football, the Pro Bowl is the all-star game of the National Football League (NFL). ... Navy quarterback Aaron Polanco sets up to throw. ... For other uses, see Buffalo Bills (disambiguation). ... NFL logo For other uses of the abbreviation NFL, see NFL (disambiguation). ... The Houston Gamblers were an American football team that competed in the United States Football League in 1984 and 1985. ... The United States Football League was a professional American football league that played three seasons between 1983 and 1985, in the process presenting the rival National Football League with its greatest competitor since the 1960s version of the American Football League. ... Jerry Markbreit Jerry Markbreit (born March 23, 1935 in Chicago, Illinois) is a former American football referee in the National Football League (NFL) for 23 seasons and became one of the most recognizable referees in the game [1]. Markbreit officiated football games for 43 seasons. ... NFL logo For other uses of the abbreviation NFL, see NFL (disambiguation). ... Ty Murray was born October 11th, 1969 in Phoenix, Arizona. ... Aron Lee Ralston (born October 27, 1975) is an American mountain climber who became famous in May 2003 when he was forced to amputate his lower right arm with a low-quality multitool (a dull knife) in order to free himself after his arm became trapped by a boulder. ... Burton Leon Reynolds, Jr. ... Plays the elder scribe in Miller Lights Men of the Square Table ad. ...

Television advertisements

This list is not complete. It contains only a sample of the commercials within this series.

Problem Posed

Man Law Solution

Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?

It was suggested to be various short amounts of time, but the idea of dating a friend's ex was thought to be wholly unacceptable by Mr. Reynolds. However, when asked "What if she's drop-dead gorgeous?", Mr. Reynolds changed his answer to "Six months" and the motion was summarily accepted.

If you bring Miller Lite to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party?

Tuck Rule: As many beers that fit in one pocket, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers to the table at once?

No. "You poke it, you own it."

When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle?

The Bottom, because clinking the top would swap saliva and thus qualify as kissing.

Is the high five officially played out?

Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found.

Does someone have to root for a team when watching football?

Yes. You must always choose to root for a team.

Is it permissible to hide your beer in the fridge so that others can't find it?

No, "sharing is caring." Unless it's the last one and it has to be Miller

Wireless phone headsets: pretty cool or technology gone bad?

Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool. (Mr. Bus completely disagrees.)

Can you put a lime or any other fruit in your beer?

No, fruit is completely off limits in beer. If one were to put fruit in a beer, they might as well put a little umbrella in it and call it a "beera colada". Man Law: "Don't Fruit the Beer."

Is it permissible, in the pursuit of humor, to tap the top of another man's beer bottle with the bottom of your beer bottle, causing the other man's beer bottle to fizz over?

No, as there are plenty of other things that make us laugh without wasting a drop of beer, like Japanese game shows, Undercover Brother on DVD, and Jimmy Johnson's hair. Man Law: "No wasting beer in the pursuit of humor."

Have football fans become too reliant on the "D-Fence" sign?

Yes, however, a continuance has been issued on the "D-Fence" sign, while giving a try-out to the "Off-Fence" sign this season.

Is it acceptable for a man to leave his fellow men in order to leave with his woman?

No, however, this ruling can be overturned if she is deemed attractive enough by said fellow men. Most notably, Burt Reynolds, in the case of Mr. Murray's girlfriend, Jewel. (Beforehand, the Men were discussing if it is acceptable for a man to drive a hybrid car. A Man Law was never adopted for this.)

Is it permissible for opponents of a bet to distract one another during the betting event?

No. Unless a distraction clause enabling the opponents to distract is placed before said event occurs.

Is it acceptable to leave a game before it ends to beat traffic?

No. In a rare double man law it was also deemed unacceptable for a man to bake on game day. This is the one Rodney Blu appears in.

Is it acceptable for a man to use a fake log when real wood is available?

No. Real wood must always be used.

Is it acceptable for a wife or girlfriend to store items other than beer in the garage fridge?

No. The line is the line - It is the only sovereign territory left.

Is crushing beer cans on your forehead still cool?

No. Cans are not as thick as they once were. Crushing one back then was saying something, but now, it's lame.

21 rule

No matter what, the 21 rule is always in effect. No matter what, no if ands or buts.

Can a man wash his hair in the sink?

No. Under no circumstance shall a man wash his hair in a sink. Hair washing will only take place in the shower, OR, the barber.

Can a man end a game of pain, by not abiding by the rules?

No. All rules shall be followed or the result will be double the penalty of the game for the man who broke them.

Is telling stories of getting kicked in the balls reasonable male conversation?

No. Hearing a story of that nature brings back painful memories because every man has his own story.

If while eating hot peppers, is it acceptable for a person to stay at the table and not eat while forcing others to eat the peppers?

No, if said person is at the table and is trying to make others eat hot peppers while being too chicken to try one themselves they should be made to eat twice the amount eaten or be shunned from the table and made to sit outside, no matter the weather conditions.

Can one man Instant Message another man with the acronym BFF?

Absoluteley Not!

This article does not cite any references or sources. ... A high five is a celebratory gesture made by two people, each raising one hand to slap the raised hand of the other - usually meant to communicate to spectators mutual self-satisfaction or to extend congratulations from one person to another. ... A Piña Colada is a sweet cocktail. ... Undercover Brother is a 2002 comedy starring Eddie Griffin and directed by Malcolm D. Lee (cousin of Spike Lee). ... For R&B singer Jewell Caples, see Jewell (singer). ... Honda Insight, a hybrid gas-electric vehicle 2004 Toyota Prius, a hybrid gas-electric vehicle A hybrid vehicle uses multiple energy sources or propulsion systems to provide motive power. ...

Demise

The Miller Brewing Co. unveiled a new football-related advertising campaign to effectively replace the Man Law ads starting the week of September 2, 2007, to coincide with the start of the 2007 NFL Regular Season. The title is More Taste League (MTL) and these ads consist of actor John C. McGinley portraying The Commish of beer to defend Miller Lite towards the actions of beer drinkers. These ads are only likely to run until some time in October 2007, as Miller has signed a new agency to handle their TV and radio ads, with the first ones to be unveiled during this time.^[3] NFL logo For other uses of the abbreviation NFL, see NFL (disambiguation). ... John Christopher McGinley (born August 3, 1959) is an American actor, producer and screenwriter, most notable for his roles as Perry Cox in NBCs Scrubs and Sergeant Red ONeil in Oliver Stones Platoon. ... Commissioner is a designation that may be used for a variety of official positions, especially referring to a high-ranking public (administrative or police) official, or an analogous official in the private sector (e. ...

Popular culture

The New Yankee Workshop is a woodworking program which airs on PBS. Created in 1989 by Russell Morash, the program is hosted by the affable Norm Abram, a regular fixture on Morashs This Old House. ... Norm Abram (born 1950) is an American carpenter known from the PBS television programs This Old House and The New Yankee Workshop. ... A mitre box (US spelling, miter box) is a woodworking tool used to guide a hand saw to make precise mitre cuts in a board. ...

Notes

Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 121st day of the year (122nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Common Era (or Anno Domini), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 153rd day of the year (154th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2006 (MMVI) was a common year starting on Sunday of the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 324th day of the year (325th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Common Era (or Anno Domini), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 153rd day of the year (154th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... Year 2007 (MMVII) was a common year starting on Monday of the Gregorian calendar in the 21st century. ... is the 247th day of the year (248th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ... 2008 (MMVIII) is the current year, a leap year that started on Tuesday of the Common Era (or Anno Domini), in accordance with the Gregorian calendar. ... is the 153rd day of the year (154th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. ...

Contents

Members of the Square Table GA_googleFillSlot("encyclopedia_square");

Television advertisements

Demise

Popular culture

Notes

Members of the Square Table