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Silent Football is a group game consisting mainly of the passing of an imaginary football. Silent Football has very few realistic requirements; however, two or more players are needed, and preferably enough space so that the group can sit in a circle, allowing each player to see each other player. Each player's objective in the game is to not lose. One loses by the accumulation of a set number of penance points (set by the Dictator at the beginning of the game (usually 3, 5 or 10); however, it is not a very competitive game. Image File history File links Broom_icon. ... Circle illustration This article is about the shape and mathematical concept of circle. ... An objective or goal is a personal or organizational desired end point in development. ... Compete may refer to: Compete, Inc, Boston based market research company transforming the way consumers and brands communicate. ...

All players are arranged in a circle, and one player is selected to be the Commissioner, or the Dictator. The Commissioner runs the game, does the majority of the talking, and realistically does whatever he or she cares to, including creating, altering, or removing rules. The Commissioner may arbitrarily force players to do (or to not do) any action.

Once everyone is arranged, the Commissioner must clear any misunderstandings about the rules with either his own interpretation or arbitrary legislation. It should be noted that in some silent football communities, teaching the basic rules of the game is forbidden. New/prospective players must play/watch a round to learn the rules in those communities. Interpretation, or interpreting, is an activity that consists of establishing, either simultaneously or consecutively, oral or gestural communications between two or more speakers who are not speaking (or signing) the same language. ... Legislation (or statutory law) is law which has been promulgated (or enacted) by a legislature or other governing body. ...

Note on the Transcription of the Rules of Silent Football

Some purist Silent Football sects observe a strict prohibition on the transcribing of the rules of Silent Football. The Greater Vacaville Silent Football Forum does not recognize these rules or the existence of an actual game called "silent football." The GVSFF holds any persons involved in the transcribing of these sacred rules to a game that we don't even acknowledge exists in the highest contempt. Some things are better left undiscussed. The game "Silent Football" was supposedly created in Camp Ramah in the Berkshires. These are only rumors, however, and have yet to be proven.

Who playas Silent Football

Many different people in many different places play this game. However, it should be noted, that at different colleges, exclusively different groups play it. For instance: 1) At Boston College, it is played explicitly and only by the big band, BC bOp!

Gestures in Gameplay

Offensive moves

Fwap

The first offensive move is called the Fwap.(Also known as a Thwack or Thwap) One performs a fwap by hitting one's knees in combinations of right knee and left knee. One must hit their right knee with their right hand and their left knee with their left hand. Doing otherwise is called a cross fwap, for which a player may receive Penance Points.

Every hit of the right knee moves the Silent Football a space to the right. Every hit of the left knee moves the Silent Football one space to the left. One may hit their knees in any combination of rights and lefts with a few restrictions.

• At no time may the Silent Football exceed 3 spaces to the right or left of a player.
• At no time may one pass the Silent Football to or through oneself. This is called a Cold Rush of Air.
• If one receives the Silent Football from a fwap, a player may not change the direction of said fwap.
• A player may fwap a fwap, but no player may fwap a fwapped fwap.

Zoom

The second offensive move is called the Zoom. The zoom is performed by extending your right arm in a fist and making eye contact with the player to whom you wish to zoom. The player with whom you make eye contact is passed the silent football. The fist does not indicate direction. A variation on this move is performed by putting your right fist by your left ear, and putting your nose in the crook of that elbow (Classic Zoom). The elbow must point towards the person to whom one is zooming, and eye contact must also be made. According to some, you cannot zoom the ball to the person right next to you.

• A player may zoom a zoom, but a player may not zoom a zoomed zoom
• The player receiving a zoom is determined by eye contact, not by the fist. If Player 1 were to zoom the football to Player 2, Player 1 would have to make eye contact with Player 2, but not necessarily have the fist pointed towards them (it can be pointed at other players to confuse them).

Defensive moves

Shrug

The first defensive move is the Shrug. The shrug is performed just as the name implies: one raises one's shoulders. The shrug passes the Silent Football back to the player who passed it.

• One may shrug a shrug, but one may never shrug a shrugged shrug.
• In some cases the Commissioner may request that the shrug is accompanied with a kiss to the air, directed toward the person being shrugged or to nothing in particular.
• The Shrug is not always used in a game of Silent Football.

Shrotum (Shrotem, Shrodem, Shrodum, Shmotus, Scrotum, Shmota)

The second defensive move is the Shrotum . The move is executed in varying ways among different groups, but its effect is consistent everywhere: the shrotum returns the silent football to the previous passer.

• One may shrotum a shrotum, but one may never shrotum a shrotumed shrotum.

Execution

Depending on the group, the shrodum is performed in one of the following the ways:

• Place the left hand horizontally across the chest. Place the right elbow on the left fingers, and the right fingers on the temple of the head.
• As above, except the right fingers fall on the forehead. (While common in certain groups, this variant is widely known as the Canadian Shrodum or Shrodem)
• Extend the right hand, palm up, as far as it will go. Next, place the fingers of the left hand in the crotch of the right elbow. Finally, raise the right hand bringing its fingers to the chin.

The Golden Rule

This is the most important rule. Breaking this rule will cause you to automatically lose the game. A player may shrug a shrug, shrotum a shrotum, but never shrug a shrotum, nor shrotum a shrug.

The call of nature

If a player must visit the restroom, that player may use the restroom signal: waving their raised hand. The Dictator will simply nod and that person can get up. At the Dictator's discretion, the player may or may not have to wait until the next round of Silent Football motion to rejoin the circle.

A player may also request to leave for a few moments. This may or may not be granted by the dictator.

Adding moves or customs to the game

It should be noted that myriad variations and newer moves to the game exist within different communities, sometimes causing the game to become incredibly complicated. One such example is the phenomenon of Wormholes/Parallel Universes^[1] (SWUUSI). Another is the "split ball" effect at Ferry Beach--caused by baps and shwees, and used only the Dictator. Often, one cannot find these inventions in play anywhere except the community in which they have become a staple.

Initiating Play

When the Commissioner is ready to begin the game the Commissioner simply says, "Customary Tip of the Hat," after which everyone repeats "Customary Tip of the Hat" and tips their (imaginary) hats. Another variation is "Hats off," after which all players remove imaginary hats and place them in the center of the circle.

Then, the Commissioner may take the "Customary Shroop," [or Schwoop or Sloop] after which everyone repeats "Customary Shroop" [or "Customary Schwoop" or "Customary Sloop"] and takes an imaginary drink from an imaginary, or real if circumstance permits, drinking vessel. Beverages and snacks can exist within the circle; this helps keep games going for hours.

The Commissioner can then add any more Customaries s/he desires, and the group should repeat them as appropriate. When the Commissioner feels enough Customaries have been spoken, the Commissioner Fwaps or Zooms the ball to someone, beginning the Sacred Silent Football motion.

Additionally, the words "The rules are in effect, the ball is now in play" may be said before the ball is moved.

Tattling

If a player notices any other player (including The ) break one of the rules of Silent Football, that player may raise his hand to inform The Commissioner of the rule breaking. The commonly accepted procedure for tattling follows: Look up Procedure in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ...

1. The first player raises his hand
2. Before tattling may begin, the hand must be obviously recognized by The Dictator. The Dictator may ignore a hand indefinitely.
3. The tattling must begin by formally addressing the Dictator.
4. The player then may tattle, minding the restrictions on speech.

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Restrictions

During tattling (the only socially acceptable time to speak),

• One may never refer to another player(s) using any wording or gesture other than that player's name within the game, which is often required to be formal (Mr. Smith versus John).
  • The Commissioner is often an exception in that he or she may be referred to either as "Mr. Dictator" or any name made up with the same components of "Dick" and "Tater," such as "Mr. Penis-Potato."
• One may never use any pronouns.
• While tattling, the tattling player must surround any quotation or wording or gesture using the words "quote," and "unquote."
  • Bunny ear quotes are often an entirely illegal gesture, which does not indicate quotation, but may instead result in penance points.

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Hallucinations

The game is limited to the people playing in the circle. If a player reacts to a person or thing outside of the circle, he is said to be reacting to hallucinations which are the result of hallucinogens and will be awarded penance points. An exception to this rule is that if a hallucination enters the circle they may materialize, and players may ask Mr. Dictator to have something done about the intruders. A hallucination is a sensory perception experienced in the absence of an external stimulus, as distinct from an illusion, which is a misperception of an external stimulus. ... The general group of pharmacological agents commonly known as hallucinogens can be divided into three broad categories: psychedelics, dissociatives, and deliriants. ...

• Food and drink are part of the universe and are not hallucinations.
• Outdoors, if a player pulls up grass, he must eat it. Otherwise it is not food, and therefore a hallucination.

The word drink is primarily a verb, meaning to ingest liquids. ... // For eat or EAT as an abbreviation or acronym, see EAT. In general terms, eating (formally, ingestion) is the process of consuming nutrition, i. ...

Peanut Gallery/Poltergeists/Savages

Any entities not in the game are hallucinations, and thus are referred to out of game as the Peanut Gallery( Also known as Poltergeists and Savages). It must be remembered that the Peanut Gallery formally does not exist; it is informal to refer to the peanut gallery in game play and penance points may be issued for such hallucinations. The Peanut Gallery can (and very likely will, given the chance) interfere with the players in whatever ways they wish.

Miss Cleo/Translator

The Commissioner is allowed the ability to change names; changing one's name to Miss Cleo gives him/her the ability to perceive the hallucinations without receipt of penance. A hallucination is a sensory perception experienced in the absence of an external stimulus, as distinct from an illusion, which is a misperception of an external stimulus. ...

In some circles, the Commissioner is simply immune to all attempts of the peanut gallary/poltergeists, and can interact with the outside world as s/he pleases.

Holy Jihad/Witch Hunt/Exorcism

At points within a game, many players may be bothered by the acts of the Peanut Gallery. In this case, a player denoted "Miss Cleo" (or the Commissioner in circles ware there is no concept of a "Miss Cleo" player) has the unique ability to incite Holy Jihad (otherwise known as a "witch hunt"), an action in which the Peanut Gallery suddenly materializes within the game, and therefore can be tackled, beaten, or otherwise punished for clearly having been distracting before they existed formally. This action is particularly justified if such hallucinations have blocked players' sight of each others' knees, a necessity for fwappage. For other uses, see Jihad (disambiguation). ... Most forms of football have a move known as a tackle. ... Marines practicing striking A strike is an attack with an inanimate object, such as a weapon, or with a part of the human body intended to cause an effect upon an opponent or to simply cause harm to an opponent. ... Look up Punishment in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Distraction is also a television game show: Distraction (game show) Distraction is the diverting of the attention of an individual or group from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction. ... This article is about the law definition of necessity. ...

Losing Silent Football

Once one has attained a set amount penance points (usually between 5 and 10) one has lost. The loser must perform an embarrassing action decided by the winners (ie dressing up funny for a whole day, or doing interpretive dance to aqua's "barbie girl" with ice cream up your nose). However, this cannot involve unwilling third parties. For instance, a penance which involved a sexual encounter would require the consent of the others involved in the penance.

Goldberg Parachute

An optional corollary measure in instances when a losing player is to perform a penance is known as the Goldberg Parachute. Should a player find that a particular penance is too harsh, they may exercise an option for an alternative penance to be conceived in place of the questionable act. The intent is to remove the possibility of personal psychological upset from a player's participation.

Rule variations

The Commissioner

In some circles, rather than having a "Mr. Commissioner" there is instead:

1. Mr. Comissionar
2. Game Master (often when this name is used, the other players must refer to him as 'Mr. Game Master, Sir/Mrs. Game Master, Sir' at the beginning and end of every reference to the Game Master)
3. King
4. The Chairman (when addressing the chairman the phrase "Mr. Chairman, sir" must be used).
5. The Dictator may also announce a custom name to be called with at the beginning of the game.(e.g. The Minoan Lord)

Hallucinations

A custom that has been set in the SAYF community is that whenever people outside of the game intrude with rude intent, the patrons of the game cover their head with their arms, and shout, "Dirty savages!" (variations) and/or hiss.

Tattling

Some silent football communities don’t have a strict "no pronoun" rule and instead inhere to the following: When speaking, no player may use pronouns such as "he" "she" "it" "they" "we" "us" "you" "him" "her" "hers" "his" etcetera, except for first person singular pronouns, "I" "me" "my" "myself" and "mine," and words which are not always pronouns, such as the demonstrative pronouns "this" "that" and "those." In linguistics and grammar, a pronoun is a word that usually takes the place of a noun or noun phrase that was previously mentioned (such as she, it) or that refers to something or someone (I, me, you). Pronouns are often one of the basic parts of speech of the... In linguistics and grammar, a pronoun is a word that usually takes the place of a noun or noun phrase that was previously mentioned (such as she, it) or that refers to something or someone (I, me, you). Pronouns are often one of the basic parts of speech of the...

If the dictator fails to notice a raised hand, the tattler may use the word "Abuh-afuck-awah" to get the dictator's attention. The dictator, being a dictator, still has no obligation to react to the abuh-afuck-awah.

References

1. ^ http://robnugen.com/yruu/sf/wormholes_etc.shtml

See also

Games Portal

Religion Portal

• Zoom schwartz profigliano is a very similar party game.
• Zip Zap Zop is a very similar party game.
• Wink

Image File history File links Portal. ... Image File history File links P_religion_world. ... Zoom Schwartz Profigliano is a group mind-game that has many variations. ... Zip Zap Zop, also known as Zip Zap Boing[1], is a well-known game, often used as a theatre preparation exercise[2] and sometimes as an elimation game. ... Wink is a game generally played by high-school and college-aged people. ...

External links

• An excellent Silent Football guide
• A description of the rules for an alternative version of Silent Football
• Wormholes, Blackholes, & Parallel Universes - A whole new world of Silent Football rules
• Google Answers site questioning the beginnings of Silent Football