The Modern Parents are characters who appeared in Viz magazine in the early 1990s as a parody of "modern" parents. Cover of Viz (issue 57) Viz is a popular British adult spoof comic magazine. ...

The Modern Parents

Malcolm and Cressida are the modern parents in question, adults whose obsession with equality, liberalisation, and environmental awareness often works against their basic role as parents to despairing eldest son Tarquin and backgrounded younger child Guinevere (who is, despite the name, a boy). The Modern Parents do not believe in gender stereotyping or traditional childhood activities such as visiting fairgrounds, frequenting fast food restaurants, taking part in games or competitions, playing sports or with toys, enjoying foreign holidays, or even going to school. The sign of the headquarters of the National Association Opposed To Woman Suffrage Sexism is commonly considered to be discrimination against people based on their sex rather than their individual merits, but can also refer to any and all differentiations based on sex. ...

Malcolm and Cressida also believe that all humans are equal even to the extent that there is no such thing as immaturity. As a result, Tarquin is often greeted by the sight of his parents openly having sexual intercourse (having also previously announced this intention to their kids) and has to shield Guinevere from such activity. Each story of the Modern Parents finds the parents forcing the kids into participation in some new wide-eyed, hare-brained post-modern activity which ostensibly encourages a policy of togetherness but ironically ends up with Tarquin and Guinevere often escaping to their much more realist uncle Eddie who supplies them with the ice creams and trips to theme parks which their parents refuse to allow. While the children are enjoying themselves with uncle Eddie, their parents are likely to be suffering or arguing due to their latest idea/scheme going horribly wrong.

A Father Christmas Episode

Interestingly, Tarquin has a manipulative streak which he exhibits in many episodes. In one, Malcolm and Cressida refuse permission to see Father Christmas because it's "corporate brainwashing" and they create a macabre "Santa Claus" experience designed to challenge orthodox thinking in 3 year olds. Taking inspiration, Tarquin creates a parody of what happened. He puts a packing crate in their garden, along with a sign that read: "Journey to the land of Santa Claus" and a step ladder. Dressed as an elf, he says:

• Tarquin: "I am an oppressed elf. Please put your money in the starving child's begging bowl before you peer into the magic chest."

• Malcolm & Cressida put the money in Guinevere's bowl, climb up into the ladder and peer in.

• Tarquin: "You are about to experience the pain and suffering of victims of violence."

• Malcolm: "How moving!"

• Tarquin then slams the lid of the crate onto their heads with sadistic glee and they fall in. Moments later, Tarquin nails the lid shut and a truck arrives and the reader sees that the crate is addressed to: "Santa Claus, The North Pole".

• The scene shifts to the Arctic. We see the crate in the middle of nowhere, eyed by a hungry polar bear. The lid opens and Malcolm & Cressida peer out in terror.

• Malcolm: "Cressida, are you sure polar bears are peace loving animals that live at one with nature?"

• As always, Tarquin and Guinivere spend Christmas at Uncle Eddie's.

Tarquin

As he knows how to be a con artist, Tarquin is a very effective foil to Malcolm & Cressida, even if it only stems from his desire for normality or a desire to make money. His almost Machiavellian ability to play the political game is not only a means of resistance to the parental authority, but also diametrically opposed to Malcolm & Cressida's half-baked, wide-eyed schemes. Tarquin is very calculating and methodical in his manipulation of Malcolm & Cressida. In fact, because of his conservative (pro-establishment) outlook (at least in comparison to his parents), he could be a parody of the rebellious teenager, only he does it with style. Detail of the portrait of Machiavelli, ca 1500, in the robes of a Florentine public official Niccolò Machiavelli (May 3, 1469—June 21, 1527) was an Italian political philosopher during the Renaissance. ...

Another example of his Machiavellian streak is when Malcolm & Cressida take him to a "Whole self Centre", claiming that Tarquin suffers from an "erotic shame complex". Tarquin tells them that he's picked up a few ideas and talks of a workshop, which ostensibly is about discovering the inner child. He gets the attendees to undress and get into the foetal position, where they think it's moving that they can learn from young people. He then gets them to touch each other, dance, and feel each others bodies. The scene changes to reveal that there are several smartly dressed businessmen queueing to get up a ladder and paying to see through the windows. This workshop is just a front for a sleazy peep show. Detail of the portrait of Machiavelli, ca 1500, in the robes of a Florentine public official Niccolò Machiavelli (May 3, 1469—June 21, 1527) was an Italian political philosopher during the Renaissance. ... Inner child refers to a concept used in psychology to denote a condition that can be linked back to a childhood experience, physical or emotional. ... Fetal position is a medical term used to describe the positioning of the body of a prenatal fetus as it develops. ... A peep show or peepshow is an exhibition of pictures or objects viewed through a small hole or magnifying glass. ...

John Fardell

The Modern Parents is written and drawn by John Fardell who is also responsible for producing several other strips also published in Viz such as The Critics, Ferdinand the Foodie and Desert Island Teacher. One thing common to all Fardell's work is that he takes great delight in parodying the pretensions of the middle or professional classes. John Fardell is a British cartoonist and author. ... The Critics are the main characters of a long-running cartoon of the same name in the British comic Viz. ... Ferdinand the Foodie is a character in the British comic Viz. ...

John Fardell's first children's novel, The 7 Professors of the Far North, was published by Faber & Faber in 2004, and was published in the US by Penguin Putman in 2005.