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The Cult - ChuckPalahniuk.net (2996 words) |
 | Overall the inconsistency with capitalization and punctuation, esp. for the parts with dialogue, which is most of it, including the story-teller, are so inconsistent from paragraph to paragraph and even sentence to sentence that it makes the story very difficult to read, and even harder to get into and relate to. |
| He was belivable, but believable in the way I could describe a horse and you'd say "Yeah, that's what a horse is." but not in a way that really invested me, as a reader. |
| Dialogue: I would like to see a little more he said, she said, so I know who is speaking. |
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